a letter for Dr. Laura

I found this on a old diskette, of old emails, from the mid 1990s...

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.  The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US man, and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

______Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.  When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.

______I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

______1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations.  A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.  Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
______2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.  In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
______3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24.  The problem is how do I tell?  I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
______4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9.  The problem is my neighbors.  They claim the odor is not pleasing to them.  Should I smite them?
______5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.  Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
______6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.  I don't agree.  Can you settle this?  Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
______7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight.  I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.  Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
______8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27.  How should they die?
______9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
______10. My uncle has a farm.  He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/ polyester blend).  He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.  Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

______I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

______Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.


Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman,
Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia

PS (It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian)

NOTES: James M. Kauffman,Dr.  Laura Schlesinger,Leviticus

leadership...

"I felt you led a unit two ways. I'd seen commanders who led by persuasion, and I saw leaders who lead by example. I thought the best was a combination."

"Delta Force"
Col. Charlie A. Beckwith, USA Ret.

There is a fourth way and that is the Navy Way! You give orders and verify that your orders were carried out. If they are not carried out correctly, you kick ass until they are. If they are carried out correctly, you don't need to do anything. After all, the people obeying your orders were just obeying your orders and
merely doing their jobs.

Praise and thanks really are not needed!

Perhaps some lines of a song, "The Hymn of the Friendlies", could say in a nicer, more poetic, way what is really a cold blooded way to run an organization:

Glory, honor, praise and profit,

Are but toys of tinsel worth.

Render up your work, unasking,

It is amazing how much people prise tinsel.

It does take a lot of watching to make sure people are obeying. The easiest way to avoid too much supervising is to have highly detailed SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures) that people adhere to. Of course, the unexpected caused problems (by definition, these are issues not covered by the SOPs), so the "leader" should run a risk aversive shop and then this both covers his ass and avoids the hassles of "leading" your troops in a crisis.

Catr got your ... tongue?

This was taken from an email I got on Saturday, 8 November 1997. It has a kind of timeless humor.

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable because no matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating to reveal.

I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown.

In this case, the truth hurt. I mean it really hurt in the place men feel the most pain. The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.

As the daily routine prescribes, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Ed!" she hearkened,"The garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it."

"You know where the button is." I protested through the shower (pitter-patter). "Reset it yourself!"

"I'm scared!" She pleaded. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?". . . .Pause. . . . . C'mon, it'll only take a second."

No logical assurance about how a disposal can't start itself will calm the fears of a person who suffers from "Big-ol-scary-machinephobia," a condition brought on by watching too many Stephen King movies.

It is futile to argue or explain, kind of like telling Lloyd Bentsen Americans are over-taxed. And if a poltergeist did, in fact, possess the disposal, and she was ground into round, I'd have to live with that the rest of my life.

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without consequence but it was I who would suffer.

I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances. Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal,drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. it was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between my legs.

She ("Buttons" aka "the Grater") had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.

Now when men feel pain or even sense danger anywhere close to their masculine region, they lose all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements. Instinctively, their nerves compel the body to contort inwardly, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed.

Not even a well trained monk could calmly stand with his groin supporting the full weight of a kitten and rectify the situation in a step-by-step procedure. Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome; men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option.

Fleeing straight up, I knew at that moment how a cat feels when it is alarmed. It was a dismal irony. But, whereas cats seek great heights to escape, I never made it that far. The sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried to conduct their work while suppressing their hysterical laughter. My wife told me I should be flattered.

At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk. "What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"

If they had only known.

Resasons I dont' want Todd Tiahrt as my Senator

I'll be upfront: I know, like, and respect Jerry Moran and of all the candidates for Senator Sam Brownback's US Senate Seat, Jerry is the only one I would vote for.

Here are the reasons I don't want Todd Tiahrt as the next US Senator for Kansas:

1. Karl Rove flew in and personally endorsed Tiahrt.
2. Alaska's half term governor Sarah Palin endorsed Tiahrt (what business has she to interfere with Kansas politics?)
3. The "Tea Party" (or a branch thereof) supports Tiahrt.
4. Tiahrt had the nickname of "Boeing's Representative" since he supposedly did a great job of representing Boeing; I've heard from people in Wichita that he hasn't done such a good job of representing them.
   

Neutral reasons: Tiahrt admits to smoking pot in college. That doesn't bother me as a lot of people admit to having smoked pot in the 1970s. While he has not spoken out in favor of decriminalizing or even legalizing "pot", at least he hasn't called for tougher anti-pot laws.

Wink Hartman and 'Obamacare'

Wink Hartman is a Kansas politician who is running for the House of Representatives. He is a self professed Conservative.

According to his issues page, he also wants to get rid of "Obamacare". " Obamacare" will mean a number of uninsured people will actually get health care insurance. Wink asserts that "The bottom line is that 'Obamacare' will decrease the quality of our health-care plan..." but doesn't offer any proof.

Does he want to go back to the days of uninsured sick people going to the Emergency Room for issues that should have been resolved in an MD's office? Oh, wait, I forgot; you have to pay an MD, who can refuse you service but an Emergency Room has to take whoever shows up!

My youngest brother was a juvenile onset type 1 diabetic and either had no health insurance or absolute horrible health insurance. He died at the age of 44 years, 1 month and 8 days. I think my brother might have lived a lot longer if he'd had health insurance and thus regular access to a family MD.

How many others like him are out there without health insurance? I have a friend with two juvenile onset diabetic grandchildren; he's worried about what these kids will do when they no longer are covered by their parent's health insurance.

The very 'Obamacare' Wink disparages might have saved my brother's life. We'll never know. What we do know is that "Obamacare" is the best hope many such people have!