This is my second attempt at this note as my father-in-law's computer disappeared the first version.

In a few minutes, I'm taking my family to a restraunt in downtown Portland for lunch. (I haven't lived in Portland since 1980 so I'm not looking forward to the drive or to finding parking spots.) We're going to have lunch with my Mother (alway worth doing), my brother Jim, his wife and one or two of his kids, brother Jeff and his #2 (younger) daughter and my youngest brother Charlie. Jim is very outspoken and doesn't seem to worry to much whose feelings get trampled; his wife is more diplomatic and the kids don't say much. Jeff is the diplomat expect when he gets upset with me and then he can be quite bitchy (I still haven't forgotten the response I got about 8 years ago after writing me a note to the effect that I didn't want to see the family drift apart like out father and his brothers did. My dear brother's reply was basically a statement of disownment.) Jeff is bringing daughter #2 with him as daughter #1 has this "fear of flying". So, she stays home and her Momma watches her; could the fact that Jeff's wife has probably never liked us have anything to do with this???

I had hoped to see Jeff with the hopes that we could mend the fences; I didn't expect him to be in town at the same time we were. When I found out that Jeff and a daughter were going to be in town, I was quite shocked. At first, I thought it could be he wanted to visit my family. It turned out to be a coincidence...

Charlie is fine but you never know what his real agenda is...

There is a lovely French word that means "a group held together by mutual antangisms" and this would have to describe my family live (until I left home at age 16. That is, my father kicked me out of the house emotionally speakking althought I didn't really leave until I was 18 and went off to college and then the miliary. People bitched about being onboard a US Navy (CVA-59) ship but I found it a safer environment that being at home.

Well, we're going to have lunch at a seafood restraunt. It will be nice seeing Jeff's #2 daughter. She is about 14 now; the last time I saw her, she was 1.5 years old. We were on her families' back porch. She wrapped her left fist around my right index finger and took me for a walk around the house. I had not expected to ever see her before my Mother's funeral (many years in the future, God Willing!) and then expected to never see my brother and family ever again. (As it turned out, we thought that Jeff was distancing himself from Charlie and me. It turns out that he has distanced himself from Jim as well. We don't have a clue what we did or didn't do that causes this. Communications has to be a two way street and letters/emails/phone calls have to be answered...)

I will be on my best behavour for lunch and afterwards, my family and I will go to Powell's Books and West Burnside and get some buying books therapy! It will be worth it!