My Mother's Death...

My Mother died early this morning. God willing, she died painlessly and went in her sleep. I find comfort in the sure and certain knowledge she is already in Heaven with my Father, their parents and my Mother's sister (the one who died pre-nadal). I don't have any objective proof of this; I merely have faith and sometimes faith has to be enough.

My brother Jim called and left a message. I called back. We were not coherient. I called my boss to request the time off; I told him I'd be in tomorrow to take care of submitting the leave request. He said not to worry about the small details; they would be taken care of.

I called Jim back later to tell him of how we'd be coming out to Oregon late tomorrow. Jim has been unable to contact Jeff; it's seems that Jeff and family were out of town again...

Charlie is back in hospital again. I fear that he'll lose that left leg this time and that our forecast of his "miracle surgery" being a nearly pointless delaying tactic is verifying. Unfortunately, damn in, unfortunately.

So, we're going to be spending a lot of time with brother Charlie (me anyway) because I can feel how fucked he is feeling and will be feeling. He has lost more than our Mother: he has lost his major person

I just hope our brother Jeff doesn't give me any shit for not coming out to see our Mother in December. I hope he doesn't lay a fucking guilt trip upon me for " the last time you saw Mom alive was in September (2005). You should have come out..."

We could have flown out at 7:30 tomorrow morning but we got tickets to leave at 3:15 pm. We could never have made the 7:30 am flight but I think the 3:15 flight is doable.

I'm not looking forward to the viewing and I purely do not look forward to the formal dinner. It'll be nice to see Aunt Lou and Uncle Jim but the circumstances will suck.

My Mother was in a pissing contest with Kathie's Father and I hope my brothers will let him come to the funeral. The feud died with my Mother and I think me Father-In-Law should be allowed to grieve formally.

This sucks and writing about it sucks and this keyboard isn't worth a damn (it is better than the previous keyboard so I guess I can't bitch too much...)